so I figured I’d blog. since I haven’t in…forever? yeah.
a lot has been going on. I don’t have the time or will to talk about it all. so we’ll just go with the recent stuff. how about new years? yeah. that was intresting. so. I had a party. I wasn’t planning on having a party, seeing as my parents were out of town and I didn’t feel like bothering to coax them into letting me have one without them, but my friends and I ran out of options as to where to have our party. haha. so I did ask my parents, and after a little bit of presuasion they did actually say I could have everyone over. Everyone being like, 15-20 people. It was weird because normally my parents, my mother especially, don’t trust me at all. But it was cool. So invited like 15 people, most of whom showed up. But yeah. I don’t drink. A lot of my friends do. But I told them not to bring anything to my house, especially because I didn’t want to blow things having a party without parental supervision. None of my drinking friends brought anything, so I was like, ok, yay. you know? yeah. well my friend erica, whose been my best friend since like…kindergarten, was the only one who brought anything…she brought a coupel two liters of pepsi which is totally normal because she’s a freak and brings pepsi…everywhere with her. so yeah. it was a fun party. we started playing apples to apples the funny way, and started passing around and drinking ericas two liters. long story short, the pepsi she brought was like… 1/4 pepsi, 3/4 tequila. It tasted nasty, but she didn’t say anything about spiking it so we all downed it. lmao. I’ve never actually been drunk before, but I think I was. I don’t remember anything. I remember the ball dropping at midnight… that was exciting. We all toasted to “rabbit’s rabbit’s rabbit’s” and then chuged sparkling grape juice. Then my friend Carrie puked. It was hilarious because my then my friend Chad cleaned it up like in Big Daddy when he covers the puke with newspaper. I do remember that. And I remember kissing like, everyone in the room at midnight. On the cheeks mind you. But still. I was trashed. I think. And yesterday I experienced my first ever hangover! It was awesome. Haha not. My parents didn’t even notice which is definitely a good thing. I got up early yesterday to clean. I cleaned puke and that sucked. But it was all bad. Erica has never told me she drinks. And we’re like…tight. I guess I’m pissed because she didn’t tell me. If she had told me what was in the pepsi, I wouldn’t have been so pissed. I would have let her bring it. I surely wouldn’t have let anyone drink so much of it, including myself, but…yeah. I dunno.
On top of that I had to go to the ER last night. I was taking medication for a sinus infection and I had an allergic reaction to it. My eyes swelled shut and I couldn’t breathe. I got a bunch of shots. I hate shots. On top of that, these shots were in an awful, awful place…*shudder.* And now, my face is so chapped I loom like satan.
I have an audition in two hours. Ugh. I still feel sick. And my face is like, falling off. This is going to be lovely. It’s for Beauty and the Beast. I have no clue what I’m singing. I wish I was a boy right now. I’ve been listening to Joanna from Sweeney Todd like, all day today and I decided I want to sing that. But it’s a boy’s song. So I can’t. Haha.
Other than that…things have been ok. I’ve been feeling really weird lately. And doing things unlike myself. And I’m not just talking about my wild drinking night. I don’t know. I miss Kasey. Happy Kasey. I’ve been so sad lately. I wish I knew why. I mean, I know bits and pieces of what’s causing it, but I feel like there’s something else I’m missing. Ugh. It’s complicated. My family life is screwed up — my parents are always fighting with one another or me, and to make it worse my brothers been bitching lately about how he hates coming home so he’s just going to spend holidays with his friends from college — and my parents somehow find a way to blame it all on me. my friends and I have been having some rough spots too, everyone I’ve ever trusted is slowly but surely giving me reasons not to trust them anymore. one of my best friends and I had a really huge fight last week and we’re talkign, but things arn’t the same. she said things and I said things that shouldn’t have been said, and it’s hard to forget. and I think most disturbing problem I’m having to me personally is that I’m STILL hung up on my ex boyfriend, and it’s been three months. he’s moved on. the oppertunity for me to move on has come up several times in the past three weeks or so and I’ve turned it away. I turned three guys, all of whom I love dearly. But it’s because I miss him. And I hate myself for it.
ugh. this headband makes my head hurt. I want ice cream.
Charlotte… Uiii… 
Marion my biatch… Thanks for staying up with me. Jang Jang, you’re always the first to greet me happy birthday! 
That won’t change. 